Yesterday a commenter on Twitter made make remember something important. Maps and allies are often told to get help, and the intentions of those who tell it are seldom as good as it sounds, sadly. But what actual help for a map looks like – not everybody know that. So I want to share some of my personal discoveries.
The most important thing that you need to keep in m ind is that maps cannot stop being maps with help of therapy. B4U-ACT, an organisation of maps and doctors, says: “Some researchers advocate curing pedophilia through reconditioning methods that alter sexual attraction or drugs that reduce sex drive (AACAP, 1999; Abel & Harlow, 2001; Crawford, 1981; Hall, 1996; Langevin, 1983; Maletzky, 1991; Cohen & Galynker, 2009; Briken, Fedoroff, & Bradford, 2014). These methods resemble conversion therapy for homosexuality, however, and are just as ineffective and potentially harmful (AMA, 1987; Freund, 1981; Hall, 1996; Langevin, 1983; McConaghy, 1999; Grundmann, Krupp, Scherner, Amelung, & Beier, 2016; Seto, 2009). While there is some evidence that these methods have been able to alter arousal patterns, they have shown to be ineffective in altering underlying sexual desires (Laws & Marshall, 2003; Marshall & Laws, 2003; Seto, 2009). The legitimacy of these studies is further cast into doubt by lack of long-term follow-ups, inclusion of control groups for comparison, valid constructs for what constitutes success (Cantor, 2014), or adequate consideration of harmful effects on the mental health of the client.» (https://www.b4uact.org/know-the-facts/immutability/)
But there is something therapy still can offer you if you're a map. And this is an ability to finally see your worth through your internalized stigma, accept yourself, and live a happy life. B4U-ACT again: “The preferred model of treatment is LGBT affirmative psychotherapy, which treats sexual feelings as innate, unchangeable and subject to personal acceptance. The American Psychological Association provides guidelines on its website (see below). Applied to the minor-attracted person, affirmative therapy separates sexual orientation from its expression, emphasizing acceptance and personal growth. This in no way endorses sexual contact between adults and minors.” (https://www.b4uact.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Psychotherapy-for-the-MAP-2017.pdf).
Association for Sexual Abuse Prevention says that very few therapists are qualified for such a job (http://www.asapinternational.org/index.html), and this is very sad, in some regions mandatory reporting still exists, and literal teenagers can be treated like violent offenders. But I'm happy to report that the attitudes are changing, and after ICD-11 removed pedophilia from the list of disorders, doctors will be more mindful of their minor attracted patients' rights and boundaries. Therapy is a place to thrive and grow as a person, to learn to be one with all aspects of your existence. “Get help” shouldn't be threat or an insult, there is nothing wrong with needing help, and soon we can have all the help in the world.
